animal watch cont..

macam nak tercabut pinggang makcik dibuatnye...

when elephant whispers....

pakcik..nk bagi ke x nak ni...

berlatarbelakangkan majlis mesyuarat tingkap cik pah..

yeaa..nak mai lagi....

nia dod & co happy outing part 2

boring of human?..let's watch the animal instead...

my little pony

jgn pandang belakang...mcm kenal je...

wif mommy.....

watch the lion king

papa is also a lion king..sometimes

nia dod & co happy outing part 1

during my semester break we had our outing...it was fun...can see it from their faces although dania was not in her good health...

nia n dod 2 skool..

nia n new friends...

dod n tumbletots activities...u can do it!

although life's full of challenges, i feel so happy to see both of my kids are now in playskool, dania in her first year of kindergarten while dod in tumble tots...

matahariku by agnes monica

Tertutup sudah pintu .. pintu hatiku*Yang pernah dibuka waktu hanya untukmu*Kini kau pergi dari hidupku*Kuharus relakanmu walau aku tak mau*Berjuta warna pelangi didalam hati*Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi*Takada lagi cahaya suci*Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi*Dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku*Kubersedih kerna panah cinta menusuk jantungku*Ucapkan matahariku puisi tentang hidupku*Tentangku yang tak mampu menaklukan waktu*Berjuta warna pelangi didalam hati*Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi*Takada lagi cahaya suci*Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi*

excellent song, strong lyrics and powerful voice...

it was a sad closure of 2008...

dear bloggers,

this is the day that i have the guts to pen my story of how things really tumble me upside down, inside out, vertically and horizontally...
the pain is unbearable, i decided to shut my life for a while, been thinking a lot bout my life, what i've done and become...
i never would forgive my self for what had happened although it is my fate..never..for this was the first worst thing that ever happend to me and to the person who i loved most..who brought me into this joy and sorrow world..my mother..

27 december 2008, my misery begins..it was really a freak accident which i hate to flash back but it keeps haunting me and mom for the rest of our lives..it was not a car accident nor a slip in a toilet but that very day a silly mind of me made mom broke her femur bone and now suffers the consequences...we both suffer..i have no idea to what degree she feels bout it, but me, it weights more than a mountain..the guilt and pain in the heart which can never be erased for the rest of my life. since that day, tears is my best friend but mom she is a strong angel, she didn't cry at all..

to what extent i didn't realise that i have lost my self in time, i hardly think bout what happened around me and i started to develop a sensitive feeling which i don't understand at all. what i know is my action can crush me to pieces if i don't start to rebuild my esteem which i've lost since that day..and now i'm in the journey of searching my self again, i've lost it once when i was during my university days, found it back when i met hubby and now lost it again..i wonder where am i...

all i can do now is giving attention to my sick mom, it heals me but i need more. i want to stay low now and hope that i find my self again. if Allah wants to show me the truth, then i will follow the course of life. i guess my life's shattered and i have to collect every bits and pieces and gather it again like a jigsaw puzzle.

thank Allah, the people i love are around me, which make my healing process accelerates. i hope that Allah will show me the right path and aid me towards searching my lost soul, although i look normal on the outside, my inner part is vulnerable like a piece of wet tissue paper. got to stay focus and hope that i can complete my MBA in time..all i can say "life goes on..and i have to go on with it."

dear bloggers, please pray for me..tq.

december hot shots!

baby make over @ benefit cosmetics the gardens

luncheon @ chili's

syg papa...

d bwh pokok krismas @ gardens

muhai's holiday@ lina's wedding (who's in black?)

bakal biras aku..isn't she adorable (nani)
wif mak engku (mid) and mom in-law
her to him
him to her

sweet child o' mine part 2

hepi besday 2 podod.. sayang nenekku..peace

ni muka lawak adik.. kek aiskrim lagi....

on 23/11/2008 @ bangsar house...happy faces, delicious cake and as usual the song everybody can sing...how lucky 2 times celebration but this time no present just that pak ngah had purchased PS2..& aku plak yang main lebih2. anyway..i was so happy to see my children grinning faces..

sweet child o' mine..nur dhiya marissa

the gifts....

the cake...yum..yum..baskin again!

the people who loved her...

the future guitarist...got style no kiddin'

a horse rider...go equesterian!

My sweet baby turned 3 yesterday..she has grown up so fast that now i can still remember the white faced baby who accompanied me every morning to office (look how adorable she is..but actually she is so the lasak n lil' bit naughty). we call her 'adik' sometimes 'podod' in the house depending on how she behaves..what can i say bout my little baby..adik is so cute that when u watch her laugh u want to laugh and when u watch her angry u want to laugh and when she cried also u want to laugh..coz she has funny faces..HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY DOD..MAMA, PAPA & KAKAK NIA ALWAYS LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

monster's in da house

this is me...this is what kids are thinking of doing 2 me..

Eversince bibik's back to her kampung i developed into a half mutan-human due to the fact that patience has already reached the red alert..probably of not so familiar with the kids' behaviour and always taking my sweet time when bibik was around..and now..fighting with all emotional aspects..i sometimes turned into something that myself couldn't think of but what my ultra-kids labelled me "monster" i guess.

i wonder what happen to my nice looking sweet face and soft voice that now had been turned into a sour creature face with all the shrieking voices that hated to be heard..when my sense came back then only i realised how bad i'm to them..although that is the way i'm adapting to their ultra behaviour, i'm proud i can take care of them out of my own sweat..

dania & her 3 cakes

specially made 4 my lil' princess & the queen oh hearts (my mom la..they share the same day..10 september but different year of course!)

ni nenek bangsar yg bagi...

"happy besday 2 me...ampat tahun la..."

looks tempting outside...yummy BR!

dania has reached 4 this year..i just can't believe that my little baby has grown up so fast..able to walk, talk..and talk back..but that's the truth part bout human ecology..the survival of the fittest..i mean..i'm the one who's being tested a lot..

the story of her 3 cakes is not a fairy tale..in fact every year she has the tendency having more than one cake..which for the past 33 years..never..i repeat..never i got more than one. this is because of a simple theory of increasing returns which means more people who love you..want u to be happy..and when it's your birthday..u can have more than one cake..for the same ocassion.. (probably it works only on dania coz adik dod didn't get that previlages..for whatever reasons..)

the best cake was the Baskin Robbins ice cream cake which actually i promised her earlier..we just had a very simple celebration @ my house, just inviting my sis and her daughter and of course dominos pizza..the second celebration was @ klang with my mom reaching age 70 this year..and the third cake (doraemon) was from bangsar's family..

to dania..mama wished u happy birthday and i hope u will grow up like any other girls..no special treatment and be tough!

it's such a long time since...

"one scene in Organizational's Behaviour class"

hi...it feels a lil bit akward trying to write again..been lost in time ever since i was back-to-school again. hahaha...thought of having the best time of my life..and yet..i'm the busiest person on earth!

i'm trying to remember all the experiences in UIA which made me an iron (so-called) girl..though it was weak inside but pretending to be hard on the outside..i managed to develop my self 10 years younger in order to become the member of happy-go-lucky girls in the class which helped me a lot emotionally..and my routine outings to alamanda with my 2 inseparable buddies no.1 gossipers amin and ina (korang jgn marah ye aku label kita camtu..)

so far i'm coping with life, it's just that when bibik is not around (bukan lari tp balik kampung), i'm a lil bit unbalanced..my patience are being highly experimented..sometimes i would scream to dania for having a dumb fight with her..(sounds crazy..) which now i' m labeled as 'makcik' if i bebel a lot..makcik?can u believe that..kids nowadays are getting a big serious thing to parents..

but that is just part of the ongoing walk of life..i'm a big spender again..which reflects how depressed i'm sometimes (haha..alasan nak shopping..). my 2 favourite spots: cres and thai odyssey pampering my stress muscles and skin..lastly..hoping of doing changes to my long hair..nk mcm miley cirus punya rambut..but i'm still considering it as the cost is almost the same when i did my rebonding 3 years ago. yeah rite, i'm in the mid 30's crisis i guess..

i,m a manga addict..

don't know what's got in me...i'm a manga fan right now...it's a weird development of me who is in the 30s era..guess it's an image crisis...lately i've been hanging to channel 715 animax. from dr black jack to the teen goddess then emma, paradise kiss, jigoku shoujo and the hottest my most favourite "Curious Play". It sounds like a crazy thing..but i'm able to stay late at night just to wait for my favourite anime.

recently, i cried to one episode of curious play... unique thing about anime..it is almost alive like real human story, touching, funny and tragic at the same time..their love story is endless and need to say the manga creators have high imagination and great EQ! although some have negative effects, there are many others that suitable for general readings and viewing..

to my hubby..please understand, this not an influence of anybody..i'm just an impulse type of person, just like i love shopping and buying all the fashions magazine..it'll be over...but now..please bear with me